gettin too busy

I never got a life that's too busy as it is now. I used to waste my time before on silly things like roamin' around the mall, 5-hours-internet-surfing, sleeping, goin to school to meet attendance requirements and basically fooling around. I never value time coz I live life to the fullest. I live life as it is. I live to have fun and to satisfy myself with the things that I love to do. I live the way I wanted without people mandating me on what to do.

Though my parents are strict and keeps telling me to do things appropriately, I don't follow them (well, if I think that it's not worth to be followed) and just do what I think. I don't believe in "baka pagsisihan ko sa huli ang mga ginagawa ko"... well, I don't make things that I would end up blaming myself of its cons. I know that everything I do is in accordance with I feel, think and perceive... (wait wait..perceive?does it include the way I feel?hmm..) I know that everything that I do is right and if it's not (for others...) well I do not blame myself for it cuz on the first place I'm the one who commit it. I just add’t as one learning tool that so that I'll not do ’t again.

But now? Yes, I live to the fullest still but I get too busy that I don't see myself doing things that I'm used to before. I don't know. My life now is busy-boring-robotic. Busy cuz I need to do well with my work and have to attain good evaluations. Even if I'm off from school, it feels like I'm still studying (double the research or assignment stuff in school) cuz I need to know every little thing about what I'm telling to those (BULL****) customers. In that way I'll not mislead them. Boring cuz I'm bound too do what alters my principle. I need to be kind to them and follow every little policy that is written and is governed by their LAW. I can't exercise my own belief. Good thing is I can address what I truly feel the way I stare at them (makuha ka sa tingin…haha!)—and that in some way makes me feel good. Robotic may mean I do same thing that I do every other night.

Well, the good side is I know how to be more independent ( pakipansin ang quantifier na ginamit ko dito…which means I’m independent before!hehe). I no more rely on my sibs and parents. I live alone and it feels good cuz whatever happens I need to resolve‘t by my own. I don’t know if it’s fine cuz I miss them at times. But I look at it in an encouraging way… they say if you’ll look every thing in its good side, you’ll not feel awful. Well, what do you think?