on acceptance...

I never treat my life as bitter. I describe it as fun and jolly. But let me just express out how I feel today cuz of something that made me feel sad. I really wanted to have someone to talk to. Thanks to a friend of mine where she consoles me when she noticed that sad look in my eyes.(pano kaya nila napapansin?may slogan ba na nakasulat sa mata na malungkot ka pag nakikipag-usap sa kanila?I find 't weird cuz I paint my face with a smile but there she goes...noticed the bitterness I am feeling)Moving forward, I know you're clueless bout what I am saying and let me just talk to this pc now to ease some pain in deep. Let me begin with few questions here: 1.] Sino may alam diyan na psych?baliw na kasi ako... 2.] Pano ba makipag-usap sa multo? 3.] Kung bibigyan kang pagkakataon...makikipag-usap ka ba sa multo? 4.] How would you stay positive if all things that you think are in contrast with what you believe in? 5.] Kung magpapakamatay ba ako may mapapala ako?(alam ko wala..pero what if?) 6.] Pano ka matutulog kung hindi ka pinapatulog ng isip mo? 7.] Pano mo paglalabanan ang hirap o pighati na nadarama ng iyong puso kung hindi mo maramdaman na may puso ka? 8.] Nawawala ba ang puso? 9.] Kung mawala ang puso mo saglit,hahanapin mo ba 'to? 10.]Sabi nila naririnig daw ni Lord lahat ng prayers ng sansinukob...malapit na kaya para i-entertain niya mga hiling ko? 11.]Pano ko malalaman na malapit na niyang sagutin mga hiling ko? Naku! Unfair kasi walang notification kung accepted o rejected ang mga f-in-ile mong request? I have the answers to those questions.I'm just so damn confused about it.It feels so bad when you need someone and she's out of reach. It hurts so much when you miss someone and you'll never ever get the chance to talk to her. It hurts when you know that the person that you owe your life from will never have the chance to feel your embrace. It hurts so much when you miss those arms that helds you in times of sorrow. It's freakin difficult to accept that no matter how you stay positive over things you still end up having tears cuz you are aware that you can not be with her anymore. It aches deep inside how you long for someone and have that fact that she'll not come back. It really hurts when you miss every lil thing about her and cant do anything about cuz you are bound to accept the truth. It really hurts! Damn! Happy Birthday!:[